Payback's Name is JoeBob
by wanderingwidget
Summary: Well, remember that fight in Upgrades? This would be Ye Olde Payback.


Challenge #1,924 (Added May 15, 2002)  
  
Remember in Upgrades? Where O'Neill, Carter and Daniel get embroiled in a fight with a group of guys at O'Malleys??? What if they encounter the group again? This time without the aid of the armbands... They could win or lose the fight - your choice!!!  
  
Submitted by Zwit mailto:Zwitterion697535@aol.com  
  
Disclaimer: Not mine. Never were. Belong to other people. Boo-hoo  
  
Payback's Name is Joe-Bob  
  
Yeah, so, we should have expected it. You walk into a fine, upstanding establishment. Eat three or four steaks, apiece. Win a game or two of pool. And end up beating the crap out of about twelve guys. Or so. You've gotta be realistic and expect some repercussions. But, honestly, with all that mess of blowing up doomsday ships, and almost blowing ourselves up in the process, we just, kinda, forgot.  
  
We shouldn't have. We really, really, shouldn't have. The fact that the four of us, yes, we dragged Teal'c into the fire along with us, are now cooling our heels in a holding tank, waiting for our beloved Texan CO to bail us out, is testament to that fact. Yep. We definately should have gone to Steak and Shake. McDonald's. My backyard. Anywhere but O'Malley's. Shows you just how intelligent we are. Huh?  
  
Let's go back to the beginning. We'd just gotten home from a mission on P4X-yadda yadda yadda. Two weeks of nothing but MRE's and mud. We were all having a major craving for actual food. After debriefing with the team, then debriefing with the General, we all headed for O'Malley's. We didn't think. It was habit.  
  
When we walked through the doors, the waitress's eyes lit up, while at the same time glaring. Suitable reaction. The last time we'd been there we'd bought twelve or so steaks (high tip), we'd also trashed a dozen or so hill billies, and three tables, a pool cue, 7 chairs. You get the idea. We were given a nicely secluded table, as far from anyone as possible, and ordered our food. Sanely sized portions, thank you very much.  
  
We were about half-way through our meal when it happened. Daniel looked up from his steak, squinted from behind his glasses and muttered, "Uh, oh."  
  
"What?" I asked, craning my neck around to get a look at what he was staring at. At first I didn't recognize them. I've been in too many fights to number, and a fair share of them have been bar brawls to boot. After a moment though, recognition clicked it's ugly little light-bulb on right over my head. "Uh, oh," I echoed my favorite space-monkey.  
  
By this time, both Sam and Teal'c had noticed the on-coming horde of hill- jacks. Sam recognized them, Teal'c looked confused. "Do you know those people, O'neill?" the big Jaffa questioned, one eyebrow raised quizically.  
  
Daniel answered for me. "You might say that, Teal'c. Those are the guys we got into a fight with, you know, a couple of weeks ago when Anise had us trying out those armbands?"  
  
Recognition dawned in Teal'c's eyes. "These are the men you accosted whilst you were absent from the base without leave."  
  
"Now, listen here, we didn't accost them, they accosted us," I pointed out to Teal'c as I continued to stare at the oncomming threat.  
  
"Perhaps we should leave the premises, O'neill," he asked, I glanced at him. It was a good idea.  
  
"Okay. Oh, waitress," I called for the check.  
  
We managed to get out of the restaurant without an incident. That's because the Billy-bob's were waiting for us out back in the parking lot. "Hiya, boys," I said, comming up short not ten feet from my truck, as the red necks poured out of the shadows. I even had my keyes in hand.  
  
"We got something to settle," one of the Billy-bob's said, stepping forward. In the evening light I couldn't tell which one it was, but I was betting it was the one Carter had beaten at pool.  
  
"Look, why don't we buy you guys a couple of rounds, we can swap some stories, and let bygones be bygones, huh?" I asked, pocketing the keyes then holding my hands out to the sides. No one replied. They just started throwing punches. "For crying out loud!" I muttered, ducking under the first guy's fist.  
  
Around me I heard the sounds of the rest of my team fighting, but I was too busy keeping my own against four large lads from appalachia to pay too much attention. I did notice that Danny-boy was holding his own pretty well against three lugs who had him pinned against a car. Carter was, of course, kicking ass. Teal'c, apparently listed as the enemy simply for fraternizing with us, was being ganged up on by the remainder. He made short work of them.  
  
We were actually winning, surprise of surprise, when the fight was broken up. "Freeze!" a cop shouted into a loudspeaker. Everyone froze. "On the ground, now!" the same cop shouted. We all got on the ground. Everyone was arrested, processed, and thrown into the holding tank. The boys in blue had, wisely, chosen to keep us seperated. For some reason I don't understand, Carter was kept with us, instead of being thrown in the woman's pen. None of us were complaining, though.  
  
"So, how long do you think it'll be before Hammond gets us out?" the Space- monkey questioned from his seat on the bench. I declined to answer, knowing full well that the General might leave us to stew over-night, if he thought that that would teach us a lesson.  
  
"So, Teal'c, did I ever teach you how to play 'I Spy' ?"  
  
END 


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